Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Officially SAHM

For those of you not familiar with blogging/chat room lingo SAHM stands for Stay At Home Mom. As of today that is what I am. Sure I coach and work in retail at night but I will be home with my little girl during the days. For the past couple of months Mike and I have been trying to find more ways to make extra income. We found that cleaning houses was something I could do and bring Lily with me. It only took a couple of weeks for Miss Lily to make it very apparent that although I thought it was a good situation, she was not fond of it. I would find myself feeling guilty as she would cry more and I would let her so that I could finish a room or I would hold her while I cleaned. The house also wasn't baby proof in any way so I couldn't let Lily roam out of the pack n' play without me watching her. That wasn't alright with me so I turned in my broom and microfiber cloth to stay home. Now I can make my house clean instead of someone else's.

To be honest I think it took me almost 8 months to be okay with being a SAHM. It had to do with the financial aspect but more so my convictions which were conflicting daily until now. I was raised by a single mom who did a fantastic job. My mom worked at a school so she was always home when we were, so I value what she was able to do for us and want to be able to provide the same care and opportunities for Lily. At the same time I am a workaholic...kind of.... and always need to be doing something. I spent a lot of money on getting a degree and think I should be using it since I will be paying it off for the next 10 years. Also after the chores are done at home and Lily is asleep I don't know what to do with myself which is why I have been working part time during the day.

Now that Lily is 8 months next week and she is starting to be more mobile and interactive I find it more fun and fulfilling to be home. I don't regret working the last 8 months because I needed it to feel like a regular person and to have a transition between life without and life with our little girl. I still have my retail at nights at least for the summer and coaching for as long as I can. A regular person to me now is being a Mom. Sometimes it's lonely but Lily's little smiles are worth it.

No comments:

Post a Comment