Yes our little Lily turned six months on Friday and I meant to write an update post then but it was a crazy day for lots of reasons...
Here is the first one. Lily's sleep schedule has been a mess recently from teething, refusing to nap, and knowing that walking into her bedroom means sleep time. So this morning she woke up at 5:30am and I went to bed late because of reason 2. I am incapable of falling back to sleep easily so I checked my email only to find a disgruntled parent email of one of the girls I coach. So I spent the time writing a response.
Reason two: Mike and I were up late because Thursday night I was offered a full time job with details to come and we were still figuring out if I would take it. The job sounded great but I was struggling with how I felt as a mom putting Lily in daycare. We had found an amazing center that had the highest ratings possible so I knew they would do great with Lily. If I took the job or not, either way I felt that I was being selfish. If I take the job, I would be selfish because it is something I want but it would also help us provide better for Lily. If I don't take the job I am being selfish because I would consider that laziness for not using my expensive degree or just giving up which I don't do but I would be able to be home with Lily. So hashing that out took a long time and I went to bed mentally exhausted.
Reason three: I am still working part time so on Mondays and Fridays I work 7:30-12pm which means I am away from the house from 7am-12:30pm. This is a normal thing for us now but with everything else that happened it just made me feel even worse. The whole time at work I was just thinking about the conversation the night before with examples right in front of me. Envying the moms who stay home and I see running errands at the place I work but at the same time knowing that I am better than working part time retail and that I could be providing so much more for my family financially.
Reason four: while I am at work I got a text from our live-in nanny who is also a student at the college down the street that our dog had broken out of her cage and went through the kitchen trash. She and her fiance had picked it up but I felt so bad. Yes, our dog is smart and can break out of her hard sided cage.
Reason five: almost immediately after I got home from work I picked up Lily and went to run some errands. I have recently started using Facebook pages that help connect people with stuff to buy and sell mostly children related. Lily finally outgrew her size one diapers about a week and a half ago so I sold her last box of ones. So no break and on the road to meet the mom buying the diapers.
Reason six: On the way to meet for the diapers I got the email about the job. They had called me the day previously to say I had gotten it but I did not know the pay or benefit details. I was over qualified for the position so I was hoping to receive the top end of the salary range on the job listing which was discussed in my interviews. Unfortunately this was not the case and I had to decline the offer. The interviewees left out some information about the job situation and decided to slip it into the offer letter. When I questioned them about it, they said it must have been a miscommunication, they did tell me in the last interview. I replied saying I am sorry but this information was not relayed to me and here is what I need to work for your company. They have not responded so you can imagine my frustration. I felt like a fool for getting excited and wasting all that time the night before crying over a potential decision that was now pointless.
Reason seven: I was gone for a little over an hour and received another text from our live-in nanny who was packing up to leave for Spring break. Our dog had broken out again and had destroyed the carpet in our dining room by dumping a large pot that was soaking so I could wash it later. Went through all the trash again and left us little presents everywhere. This time our nanny didn't have time to clean up and it wasn't her job anyway so when I got home I was so irritated, frustrated, sad, mad, and exhausted was an understatement at this point.
**Good news was that the same time our nanny told me about the dog, she also told me she had found my keys because I had lost those before work...reason eight** Like I said it was a long day.
So now that I am home with Lily, I locked ourselves in our bedroom and stayed there until Mike got home. I had no energy to clean the whole house and didn't even want to look at it.
Reason nine: Lily with her crazy sleep schedule did not nap from 12:30pm until she went to sleep that night. Usually after work I would put her down for a nap so I can sleep but that has not been working the past five days.
Then because I have a fantastic husband, he walked in the door after work with flowers he had already put in a vase. The arrangement included lilies which he didn't realize so I thought that was fun. Mike also got us some beverages for while we cleaned the house. He did most of the cleaning so I appreciated that too.
Sorry for the novel but I wanted to explain why Lily's half birthday post has been so delayed and a little of what is going on in our life right now. And yes Lily is actually napping right now, (YAY!) so I am going to hammer out the 6 month post now. Hurry before silly girl wakes up!
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